Wednesday, March 9, 2011

so when I actually have focus...

Then I cannot get to sleep.

I really enjoy studying for Anthropology, and I felt really productive tonight.  Could be the two pink energy drinks though *cough cough*.  Hmmm... come to think of it, this is probably why I can't seem to get myself off to dreamland.

Usually when I can't sleep I feel like writing or being creative in some way.  So I wrote a poem in my head as I was trying to fall asleep, and posted it.

Yup... that's my life.  Whenever I'm super busy and unsure of how I'm going to accomplish everything on my plate, I will suddenly feel inspired to be creative.  Or sometimes that will be when I get into a really good book that I can't put down.

Speaking of which, I really need to finish Outlander.  It's good, I swear!  I just haven't gotten that 'grabbed' feeling.  You know, the one where you feel so enthralled with the story that you literally can't put it down, and it winds up accompanying you everywhere at all hours of the day and night?  The one that keeps you awake until 3am because you just can't bear not to know what will happen next?

I miss that.  The last book/series to do that to me was Harry Potter (the last 2 books of which I finished too long ago).  I have many a book sitting on my shelf that I'm dying to read, but I feel determined to finish the two that I have already started.  Namely, Outlander and Intelligent Thought.  Sigh.  I take too long to read sometimes.  I finished the Twilight series in like 1-2 months max.  Have you seen those books?  They're huge!  So what the heck?

I need to sit on a beach for oh, 10+ days, and do nothing but wallow in the sunshine and the pleasure of reading.  Doesn't that sound perfect?  Throw in a little surfing, and make the location somewhere in Europe, and it's pretty much my nirvana.  But really, any beach will do.

Next year, it's a plan.  For now I shall just try to be content with falling asleep dreaming of the perfect sandy and deserted beach replacing the cold and snowy locale I am currently in.

Nighty night!

it feels like it was yesterday

if feels like it was yesterday
I thought to myself
but it also feels so far away

two feelings
paradoxical but true
I can hear an artist sing
and it feels so real, like new
at once I'm taken back in time
and nostalgia takes its hold
not to have these sentiments
would make me feel so cold

but then I think on memories
that are sandwiched in between
and I realize that all of these
have happened long ago


Monday, March 7, 2011

distracted student tries to study...

  In Season 7 of Gilmore Girls, Lorelai describes to Rory why she has not been able to complete a character reference letter for Luke...

Lorelai: Because my brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish. "I'm writing a letter. I can't write a letter. Why can't I write a letter? I'm wearing a green dress. I wish I was wearing my blue dress. My blue dress is at the cleaners'. 'The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.'Casablanca. Casablanca's such a good movie. Casablanca. The White House. Bush. Why don't I drive a hybrid car? I should really drive a hybrid car. I should really take my bicycle to work. Bicycle, unicycle, unitard, hockey puck, rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants."
Rory: "Hockey puck rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants"?
Lorelai: Exactly! That's what I'm saying. It's a big bag of weird in there. So I think, well, I need inspiration. 

This one always makes me laugh, partly because it's so true (for me anyhow).  Usually when I have a test coming up I can study in a concentrated manner for hours on end.  Then there are the study sessions where my mind wanders all over the place and thinks of every conceivable thing to do or look up that has nothing whatsoever to do with what I am supposed to be focused on (such as studying for my religious studies exam, for example).  

Here is how today went:  I woke up to a full pot of coffee -- is there anything better than that in the morning? -- then I proceeded to have some breakfast.  After breakfast, I had planned on getting right to the textbook, but I noticed that the shower was looking not so squeaky clean so I had to fix that, then I needed to clean the dishes because I hate seeing dirty dishes in the sink.  Ok...then I got around to studying a bit.  But basically every time I tried to get really focused on the material my head thought something like this:  

I really want that couch from Ikea, I should really measure it and see if it would fit but maybe I want the other couch with the footstool instead of the chaise...oooo throw pillows (after succumbing to opening I could paint a wall red or turquoise or gray or... Hmmm what about a new tv, how much do those cost these days?  {browses Best Buy website} I need to make more money.  I wonder how much I'm going to need in student loans.  I wonder if there are new listings on rent faster.  I wonder if anyone has written in their blogs recently.  I should really get around to that clean laundry piling up and needing folding.  Sod it, get back to studying... Hmmm maybe I should make cookies.  What am I going to have for dinner?  I should really make sure I have some lunches ready for the week.  I wonder when we can go see Unknown (looks at day timer for bazillionth time)...

So that is how my day went for the most part.  I still got some studying done amongst all my procrastination, and I did make cookies and do laundry! 

Now I just need to fall asleep so that I have energy for all the studying that will be done tomorrow...

Friday, March 4, 2011

a good drug

Your new prescription:  The Atheist Experience
Dosage:  Often enough to make you laugh and think